SOMETIMES IT'S A WOMAN'S WORLD

Bright and early this morning, I was on my way for a program and this lovely lady was seated beside me in an Abuja taxi. She was somewhat on the chubby side and drivers being who they are, our driver intended to stuff four grown adults like sardine in the back seat of his car. That would have been a tough call though given that she inadvertently took up the space for a person and a half.
Anyway, when he drove further ahead and sighted a few passengers, he pleaded with the man in front to relocate to the back so the chubby lady could seat in front. The gentleman promptly agreed and as they switched seats, we were all confronted with a rather appalling sight. The lady's blouse had lost every single one of its stitches on one side and was gaping open showing everything from her bra to her waist. And worse, I was the only female present other than herself. To my chagrin, everyone including the elderly, grey-haired driver in the twilight of his life, preferred to feast their eyes on her delectable body rather than call her attention to this fact. As soon as she was seated in front, I slid forward and in muted tones apprised her of the condition of her blouse. She was mortified and she immediately tugged the gaping material into place and held it with one hand. Being a person who has myself suffered such disappointment from fabric before, I whipped out a safety pin and handed it to the grateful woman.
She clipped a huge portion of the material closed, effectively ending the nudity show. My reward? A lot of angry male glares. I had spoiled their show right? I met them look for look, unapologetic and smug. What can I say? It's a woman's world. While some may think women engage in catfights and petty jealousies, in truth most women just look out for each other coz if we don't, who will?

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©2017 by Sherina Okoye

MONEY AND HAPPINESS

Everyone loves a good cliche but sometimes, they are just a bunch of smart-sounding, unrealistic words. A friend of mine posted just this evening that "money doesn't buy happiness". Of course, Sherina Okoye, with her wahala and 'two left legs' went to point out that money does buy happiness in some cases and what did I get? Well my comment vanished. I think clumsy Facebook must have deleted it all on their own. :)
Anyway, it got me thinking and I decided to put up my thoughts on my own wall where 'Facebook' can't get anywhere near it with the delete button.
I'd always accepted without question, the cliche that money couldn't buy happiness until I came across the case of a ten year old girl suffering continuous abuse at the hands of her father. Shockingly, her mother was content to look the other way because she didn't have money to take the girl out of the abusive home. Unfortunately, this is not an isolated case as I have witnessed several others since then.
MONEY IS NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD; WHAT YOU DO WITH IT DETERMINES WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD.
What about the orphans for whom money could provide a chance at an education? Isn't that happiness?
What about the IDPs for whom money could provide cleaner, safer, accommodations? Isn't that happiness?
What about that pregnant woman for whom money could ensure a safe delivery after nine months of carrying another human being around in her body? Isn't that happiness?
What about that young girl who escaped rape because she had her own car instead of getting on a train late after work?
What about that young man for whom money could get a kidney to save his life? Isn't that happiness.
What about the gospel and the challenge tossed down to us to take it to the ends of the earth? Well let me put it this way: if you started trekking to Australia right now to avoid the cost of flying there to preach the gospel, you would probably arrive your destination in time to witness the Second Coming.
God is not glorified by your poverty; neither is the world blessed by your dire straits. Even the pious saints of old like Mother Theresa who adopted an austere lifestyle were not poor; they just chose to spend the wealth they did accumulate on others rather than on themselves.
Jesus himself wasn't poor and in case you think he was, you haven't read your Bible well. He was plucking gold coins from the mouths of fishes and turning water into wine. At age 2, he was already controlling major wealth in precious stones and gems.
So yes, if you need to work your fingers to the bone, do it and when the money comes, feel free to use it to buy someone else's happiness if you think it can't buy yours.
I mean, I don't know about you, but as they say, I had rather cry in a Lamborghini than on a bus!!!

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©2017 by Sherina Okoye

SHERINA AND THE CHAUVINIST DRIVER

I'm in a good mood today. Yours truly was in a vehicle heading to work and as is common with vehicles, it suddenly developed some inexplicable fault that had everyone baffled. We all got down, gathered around and no one could decipher the problem. Note, I was minding my own business, innocently peeking at the complicated mass of wires beneath the bonnet just like everyone else. Oh and did I forget to mention, I was the only lady present. Anyway the driver looked up and asked if I had water in my bag for the car. I still refuse to dwell on why he asked me in particular when others also had bags in tow; probably because there is some unwritten law that says men do not carry water to work? Anyway I didn't have water. And next thing I know someone's father and husband said with as much contempt as he could muster, "Ehen. She will have makeup in her bag but not water".
Brethren, I must be in a very good mood today which is why I only met that foolish statement with the silence it richly deserves. This may come as a surprise to some, but trust me, women do have more pressing concerns than makeup . What can I say; the battle of the sexes is old as the fall of man, right? In essence to some folks every woman carries makeup around right? No problem; Uncle come and collect lipstick. I'm in a good mood...that's all I'm saying.

© 2017 by Sherina Okoye

SHERINA AND THE 'BOOGIE MAN'

That awkward moment when a guy dips one fat forefinger deep into his nose, whirls it around real fast like it's a frisbee; digs impossibly deeper like he's going for gold, and then drags out a fat, disgusting boogie and flicks it happily into the air (in a public vehicle, mind) only for it to land on the leg of the innocent girl seated beside him. Honestly if you didn't know women were saints, know it now. She restrained herself from giving him a richly deserved setdown (I mean who does that? Digging your nose willy nilly, and in public too?) She merely drew his attention and pointed a finger at the offending boogie on her legs and the mannerless man immediately took it off her. She didn't say another word the rest of the trip but she did sit in stiff, cultured,aloof, dignified silence until I alighted and I could tell her skin was crawling every minute she had to endure the aftermath of the assault on her person with a flick of boogies. I have to tell you, witnessing it was traumatizing enough; never mind experiencing it. I mean, I'm writing this at 2:42am because I'm still having nightmares about what went down. By the way, I couldn't have dinner last night thanks to Mr Boogie. Now imagine how his hapless victim felt.
Your mother was right; mind your manners in public!!!

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© 2017 by Sherina Okoye